A Guide to Living Life Fully

Love Without Restraint

Love Without Restraint

Aug 1, 2012

“And then one student said that happiness is what happens when you go to bed on the hottest night of the summer, a night so hot you can’t even wear a tee-shirt and you sleep on top of the sheets instead of under them, although try to sleep is probably more accurate. And then at some point late, late, late at night, say just a bit before dawn, the heat finally breaks and the night turns into cool and when you briefly wake up, you notice that you’re almost chilly, and in your groggy, half-consciousness, you reach over and pull the sheet around you and just that flimsy sheet makes it warm enough and you drift back off into a deep sleep. And it’s that reaching, that gesture, that reflex we have to pull what’s warm – whether it’s something or someone – toward us, that feeling we get when we do that, that feeling of being safe in the world and ready for sleep, that’s happiness.” – Paul Schmidtberger

“Just remember that someone loved you this much.” She whimpers to me between her tears.

The weight of her statement glides across my mind like a summer breeze carrying tear gas—warm and comforting, but with an inescapable sting. Although, I am already sitting on the carpeted floor of her spare bedroom, I crumble. Thousands of tiny memories of her flood my head, choking up the back of my throat, and spilling over my eyelids in the form of crystal clear fragments of loss unrealized. She is ten-fold better than anything I could ever attain in this meager life and it is becoming more apparent every day. Yet, with each passing moment, my departure from her side looms more imminent.

Although my steadfast mind wanders to distant lands and whirlwind adventures when permitted, I see her visage when I shut my eyes and I am starting to understand why; she is the diamond in my life that shines too brightly. The courage, emotion, compassion, and countless other attributes she possesses, make her unforgettable—even more so, these characteristics make it agonizing for me to step away from her.

Prolonged distance is often the foe of love; not because of any direct threat but because it is more difficult to reach across the ocean and pull someone’s warmth toward you, than it is to reach across the bed.

Hence, my current predicament—I need to pursue my life in the manner I have painstakingly waited for, otherwise love will harbor resentment, but I also need to display to her that I love her in a manner that distance cannot erode and that time will validate.

Love knows nothing of convenience; therefore, if you choose to love in situations less than ideal, it is essential to love without restraint—the only failure is never to try.

May you live all the days of your life.

5 comments

  1. She’s got more fans than just you.

    Hopefully the separation is long enough to create longing, but not long enough to lose what you’ve built.

  2. Cleci /

    i like the design and presentation of the site.

  3. grandpa don and grandma dee /

    WHAT A FABULOUS ADVENTURE YOU ARE HAVING. YOU WRITE SO BEAUTIFULLY. WE PARTICULLARY LIKED THE ABOVE PEICE ABOUT LOVE!!

    KEEP WRITING

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